i'm evie and once i ate a whole ikea rivita

The most important thing I learnt from taking up smoking is that I really like smoking

One of my tutors at college was a gossip.

“Sammi’s not in because she’s looking after her SON. Did you know she has a son?”
“Demi only got a pass in her last project, I know because I marked it”

Then it started to get a bit weird.

“Did you know that Jade is AUTISTIC? But don’t mention that I told you”
“Oh yeah, Harry’s not in today because his dad is dying”

One day I looked over and saw her mouthing something, people turning round to look at me. It was right after I had got out of hospital for gall stones.
She didn’t know what they were exactly so had been telling people that I was peeing stones. Large stones.

Peeing them.

I had a lot of stares and double-takes that week.

On the way home, the taxi driver told me to close my eyes as he drove through a secret shortcut. I did as I was told and I’m pretty sure he drove the wrong way down a one way street.